I Am Amused...

This is going to be my most difficult writing, for a number of reasons. First of all, I don't like to admit it when I am hurt. I walk it off. I refuse to show it. I also am being a little more free with personal information than I normally prefer to be, however I feel like it is in the interest of the general public, and therefore worth a little public exposure. I will preface this with the fact that I am turning 50 in two months. I am in the middle of a divorce, have four young adult and teenaged girls, and a wonderful new love in my life. Everyone likes one another just fine, it's all working out. But I have been going through some professional difficulty, along with a lot of emotional stress of late. I just entered what I have been told is official menopause, since it has been a year and a couple of months since my last period. But last week my stress level hit a critical level and I began spotting. I started Googling causes of spotting in post-menopausal women, and found n

I am sitting on my balcony. It has been hot and dry for far too long. A few rainy days over the winter and spring, no snow in Albuquerque. But this evening is different. I came out because there was a good breeze, though it was blazing hot this afternoon. I sat on my laptop and looked for jobs and played Scrabble, just amusing myself. The breeze was blowing around the cotton that the cottonwood trees a few blocks from my balcony, along the Rio Grande, were swirling all around me, and it was as if I were living in a hot, dry snow globe. And then you feel just the slightest change, the humidity rises and the breeze turns cool. It isn't raining here, but you can see the outer bands of thunderheads building. I got an alert about severe storms to our south, not too far away, and I looked at the forecast and we have afternoon thunderstorms expected every day now. I have been watching closely for 10 years and almost every year monsoons have started July 1. I have heard that it is predict

I know, I have said it before. I just haven't been ready. I am ready now. Written word is too important to sacrifice out of fear. We must be, at all times, aware of the need to document the events of the day. Further, we must be committed to provide context for those events, so that we can understand why these things happened, who they affected and how, how we reacted and why. This is no mean feat, given that the President of the United States is prone to say and do things that demand our constant attention. Who can keep up? So, I am back. A lot has changed for me personally and professionally since I last looked earnestly into the glowing screen of the laptop and wrote. I went to law school. I ran for office. My mom died. I flunked the bar exam. Twice. My dog died. My marriage died. My career died. But I didn't. I am not sure how, or why, because there were days when I hurt so much that I didn't think that a living being could survive it. There were times when I